We are the warriors that built this town / From dust.

OH hi. Would you look at this I'm still alive. And studying! That's new. -ish. So life happened and it's been almost 2 years since the last update. And now I'm back! back to bring you, ladies and gentlemen:

Games of 2014 that I played and loved, top 3

So I actually think that year 2014 may have been the best year for gamers everywhere, and not just because our new and dear next generation of game consoles that I can't afford and hence scoff at. Is it just me or is there more variety and interesting ideas in gaming than ever before?

So I thought to take a break from playing all these marvellous games and write about them a word or two. 

#3: Child of light

This platformer / rpg game tells a moving story of Aurora, a child who ends up in the world of Lemuria and has to find the moon, stars and sun to come back home. During her quest she meets many interesting personalities and learns new skills. The whole game has a definite storybook-feel and is the prettiest game ever oh my god would you look at this game.

 Aside from it's unique looks, I think that the rpg element worked really well in this game and I liked how each of your party members had unique talents and uses - you can use two party members at a time and while you can beat the game and the boss battles without breaking out the tactics guide it was definitely loads of fun trying to figure out the best character combinations to beat each boss. 

The writing in this game is also something to write home about: the whole game is rhymed, which plays well into already fairy tale-like athmosphere, The story is not without it's darker elements, like all the best fairy tales. 

Aurora is a sweet protagonist, a resourceful and kind but not without her own bite which makes her more reminiscent of Ronia the Robbers daughter and other Astrid Lindgren girls than a Disney princess. Child of Light is definitely the sort of game I'm looking forward to seeing more of: something new that tests the boundaries between video games and art.

Image source kotaku.com

#2 Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel!

I have mentioned in this blog before that I usually dislike playing in 1st.person. Well, Borderlands would be the exception. The Pre-Sequel is the third game in Borderlands-series, though it's storyline takes place between the first and the second game, explaining lot of plot points that went unanswered in the second part of the series. Whole game series is best described as shoot-and-loot action game, but beyond that simple basis these games actually have pretty convoluted plot to keep gamer like me interested (Can't get off without character development and complicated back stories) I'm actually not that far into this game yet, but for anyone who has played and loved the previous series in the game, there is only one thing that you need to know in order to loose your shit over this game: CLAPTRAP IS PLAYABLE CHARACTER.

Not ashamed to admit that I love claptraps. I love their hyper-annoy-you-to-death-while-unaware-that-everyone-hates-you-manner. I usually research all the character skill trees before making informed decision about the character I want to use, but this time around I couldn't care less. Because CLAPTRAP IS PLAYABLE CHARACTER. Game actually tries to warn you off of picking Claptrap, like three times, which is a good example of the brilliant humour that's integral part of the game series. As is the Claptraps action skill, which basically steals action skill from one of other characters, often messing it up somehow. I once ended up bouncing around on a rubber duck in a middle of a boss battle.

The unique humour, good characters and absurd and plentiful guns make this game super fun, hour-swallowing loot extravaganza. Also if you're into plentiful DLC:s? Pre-Sequel got you covered, as they released a series of reference-packed additional game content making sure to keep us addicted for hours and hours more.

#1 Dragon Age: Inquisition

I've spoken about my love for Dragon Age series before, and last year you can bet your ass I pre-ordered this long awaited ARPG as soon as I could. I had high expectations and man did this game deliver.

The story begins about ten years after the ending of the second Dragon Age game with brand new wold threatening crisis and brand new hero. As with previous games, Inquisition gives loads of options in character creation and brings back the option to play as one of non-human races in Thedas. Elves and dwarfs are familiar options from Dragon Age:Origins, and for the first time you have the option to pick Qunari character, Qunaris being the grey-skinned-horn-headed warriors from overseas.

My favourite part of Bioware games has to be companion characters you meet and befriend along the way, and Inquisition definitely has a cast of lovely (some of them almost criminally lovely I mean holy fuck Dorian turn it down for fucks sake) new faces. We also see the return of few old favourites.

Inquisition is the first Dragon Age game to have an open world that I for one enjoyed exploring for hours at a time. I think the open world really brings forth the extensive fantasy world of Thedas with all it's warring factions, religions and cultures. The best part of this is that you get to choose your allegiance and have a major part in deciding the destiny of the whole country. 

Image source: http://www.gamecrate.com

Practical Handbook of Bee Culture, with some Observations upon the Segregation of the Queen.

Am I late from the Elementary train? And for those who don't know, Elementary is new Sherlock Holmes show by CBS which got a lot of attention by being obvious BBC Sherlock rip-off and by casting Lucy Liu as the doctor John (now Joan) Watson. Despite there being some very wordy critics in the blogosphere, I decided to see for myself and downloaded the pilot.

After seeing the pilot I can say yes, there were some very obvious parallels between the Elementary and BBC's Sherlock and personally I think it is obvious that CBS is riding on BBC's coattails. It doesn't mean that the Elementary can't be at least moderately good show on it's own anyway. In both shows we see younger, more unhinged version of detective Sherlock Holmes in a modern setting. We get to see scene where Watson meets Holmes for the first time in both adaptions - something that has not been portrayed in earlier TV-shows. Both has the Holmes deducing Watson scene, admittedly with different outcomes. It was very hard for me to watch this show without comparing the two all the time, but I do that for every single adaption. And of course there will be similarities - they are based  on the same books. Duh. I will keep my eyes open for plagiarism while watching this show, but at least the pilot passed the test well enough. 

I don't deem it necessary to even comment on Watson being a woman or Watson being Asian or Watson not having military background. If Disney can replace the tenants of Baker Street with mice, CBS can do whatever they please with their casting. I was worried before watching the show that they would use femWatson as an excuse for ridiculous flirty banter between Holmes and Watson, and was pleased to see that this wasn't the case. I am actually rather interested in following if the series can keep it up - it's regretfully rare to see plain friendship between a man and a woman in the media. I liked that Watson had more active role in solving cases in Elementary than in most adaptions, and Holmes acknowledging that he doesn't really need her for solving cases - he just works better when she's there.

Johnny Lee Millers Holmes was... not very Holmesy. I am quite keen on the original stories as well as Granadas Holmes, and one thing I hate to see being taken away from the Holmes' character is his gentlemanly habitus. I think that Holmes is supposed to have that snobbish, upper-class-private-school sort of feeling to him, which is in no way diminished by his eccentricity. That is why I've never really taken with R.D.J-Holmes, and why I wasn't as thrilled about Elementary as I could have been. I don't like my Holmes all rugged and gruff. He is supposed to be sharp, precise, intelligent and ruthless, not some sort of action hero puppy who runs around kicking bad guys, damn it! But I love that they included the bees. Bees were great.

All in all I will be following Elementary with interest and a moderate amount of scepticism, and recommend checking it out for those in Sherlock withdrawal. It's not the best adaption out there but it could be a lot worse. 

And I'll be home in a little while

I'm back from my five day trip to London and life is getting back on tracks. It's highly surreal how quickly I became attached to a new city, how much I miss the metropolitan atmosphere already. I won't go into any detail about what I saw and experienced: my test audience, mainly my family, showed clear signs that my anecdotes are not as amusing when you weren't there, witnessing them while they happened. Needless to say that I will go back to London some day, to see if I see it differently once the novelty has worn off, if it is a place I could make into a home. It of course might be that London is such a glorified place in my mind that the reality falls short... Anyway! As a souvenir of sorts:

4 things in London we could really use here in Helsinki

1. The Subway

I cannot express with words how much I loved and needed the tube in London every day. It's size surprised me: first by being so small, then being so all-encompassing. In Helsinki the Subway (Metro, as we call it) is heavy caliber. Way too big and clumsy and slow for a small town like ours: that, mainly is the reason it expands very rarely: It's expensive to build rails for such a beast of a thing. London tube is small and agile, old and vast. I didn't get lost but once: the direction boards at each station were very clear, making the navigation easy.

I live maybe 10 minute car drive away from the city center in Helsinki, and yet it takes both buss and subway and 30 minutes minimum to get there. I can only dream of a subway that some day could take me home by the fastest route.

2. The Bookshops

As is made clear by my previous blog writings, I live within a realm of literature as much as in a living world. No thanks to local bookshop culture. Only high quality bookshops are small, private enterprises few and far between. It takes effort to find even cult classics with a reasonable price tag. Not so in London. I can't claim to have expertise in the matter, as I only visited a few bookshops in considerably small area, but those few experiences I had made me very envious of bookshops in London. One place we visited is called the Waterstones. Despite it being store chain, the atmosphere was the same as in the small venues back at home, repertory included graphic novel classics (very rare in Helsinki), and when asked after a specific book the staff offered to order the book from States for no additional price to the buyer (This in Finland happens only in Academic Bookshop, which has a price level not suited for students purse). And no readers digest on sight!

3. The High-Quality (and cheap!) fast food.

Right next to our hotel was fast food venues EAT and Pret A Manger, both of which are designed a student or young worker in mind. Both offered cheap food made on location from fresh ingredients every day. As a reasonably new enterprises, all the services kept sustainable development and green values in mind, thus providing quilt-free dining. Also, warm take-away soups! How great would that be here with our horrible cold winter! 

4. The Museums

I mostly have no complains about Helsinki's museums. They are really, really great when you take the size of the city into consideration. It's just that they pale in comparison to Museums in London. Tate? Free entrance. The Natural History Museum? Free entrance. The National Gallery? Free entrance. It just goes to show how much more London invests in culture and science. I know this is a unfair comparison to make: There is no way a small nation like Finland could really put that much money and effort into a culture. Especially when there is collective outrage among the people every time someone suggests bringing new culture into Helsinki: I mean, look at the Guggenheim-conversation. But I still think we could develop these great venues we already have. In museum in London the entrance was free, but for some special exhibitions that were there for a limited time, you had to buy a ticket. I went to see Damien Hirst in Tate and Animal Inside Out in Natural History Museum, and I truly felt that I got the worth of my money. I can see similar mechanism working in museums at Helsinki. 

I stopped believing / The moment when space / Was reduced to a needle

I meant to write ages ago about this whole Higgs Boson business, but then work happened and laziness happened and now it is almost 2 weeks since it was finally found. I am not going to explain what it is to you, mainly because so many people has done it better than I can. Okay, below brief (and awesome) presentation about whole subject:






(hurrah, minute physics. I love these videos, if you can't tell)

So, since I'm not going to tell you about things that you can find anywhere in internet, I'm instead going to write about

Why I think it's wrong to call the Higgs boson a "God Particle"

Yes, yes, it is invisible and we have no way of sensing it in traditional means and it is responsible for our (and cheese's and stars' and everything's) existence as we know it, it must be same thing as God / it must be a proof that God exists / haha in your face Atheists who now believe in something intangible that doesn't make any sense.

wrong!

Science and it's achievements and theories are very different from religion for one reason only. 

Science's (ok, physics') purpose is making theories about universe or about parts of universe and how these parts work. Theory in itself is only a brainchild, so it isn't necessarily true, and even if it seems to fit all the facts available, it still can be proven wrong. For example, we don't perceive the Earth turning in our everyday life, but we see the Sun moving across the sky. For a longest time all the data available led us to believe that the Earth stands still while everything else moves around us. But, with the new technologies came the new data, with new data came the new theories. And now we know a little bit more about the universe around us.

Religion on the other hand is known for putting it's fingers to it's ears and not listening when something they believed (creationists, I'm looking at you lot) is proven wrong. Christianity has been fundamentally the same for 2000 years, while science has gone forward in leaps and bounds.

We cannot confuse quantum physics with religious rabble, because all scientific theories are under construction all the time. Physicists are always trying to find what's wrong with their theories. Is there mistakes somewhere? Is there still something we don't know? Were we wrong about this or that? 

I don't think we'll ever be satisfied. We won't ever be able to sit down and make sense of it all like they can in religion. Believers can always just point at the heaven and say God when they are confused. It is not a luxury I want or need. Finding solutions with logic and brain power is more satisfying. (or you know, reading about other people doing it from a book)

Worst thing about religion is in my opinion that once you are proven wrong, the whole construction collapses into itself like a stack of cards. Believing in science and in logic makes rebound from failure easier.  

Calling the Higgs Boson a God Particle only confuses those who already have very vague and shady picture of the Quantum physics as a whole. It might be the thing that enables our existence, but it didn't create anything. It doesn't exist so that we could exist, but we exist because it exists. Secondly, we might not be able to see it or sense it otherwise, but we can gain information about it by looking at other things we have found. And if this theory is proven wrong, there is about dozen theories in line waiting to be tested.

Better listen to mr. Samuel L. Jackson

There's a disease spreading from organ to organ / And you are the white blood cell that fixes the problem.

There's been a lot of discussion in internet about misogyny in videogames lately. I felt like adding my voice to discussion, because this is one of the things that make me go to full rant mode pretty damn quickly.

To get started, there's this article (the pictures in article are NSFW) and video below:



They both put this issue much more eloquently than I ever can (which is good because you know, they get so much more attention than my little corner of internet ever will)

I don't get much shit personally when I play, mainly because I stay far away from games whose audience is mainly fifteen-years old angry teenager boys with something to prove, and I generally don't play much online. (ok, Assassins Creed MP is darn cool, but you don't have to personally interact with your co-players in it so I guess that doesn't count.) Also the games I prefer; long, plot driven action and free roaming games have this issue well in control. Here in my little bubble all is fine. But then Hutchinson from Ubisoft's creator team says something like: “It felt like, if you had all these men in every scene and (a female assassin is) secretly, stealthily in crowds of dudes, it starts to feel kind of wrong. People would stop believing it"
And: American Revolution "is the history of men". 

As a result, I feel disappointed and betrayed by one of my favourite games. This argument doesn't work no matter what direction you look at it for several reasons.
1) There was female Assassins on AC: Brotherhood and AC: Revelations. Also Ezio's sister is big part of the organisation even if she doesn't participate in actual killing people activities.
2) We have lots of historical figures for women in war: Jeanne D'Arc, Catherine the Great, Cleopatra, etc. There was women participating also on US civil war, as seen at this website.
3) If Ezio and Altaïr could walk stealthily in the crowd dressed in a cape and full body armor, armed to teeth and sometimes having an eagle jutting form their shoulder, so can a woman. If anything, woman is not generally seen as a threat: they get to places unnoticed, because they were basically second rate citizens.

Ezio "No one can see my crimes against fashion because
I'm so fucking stealthy" Auditore

4) After the debated article in question, Ubisoft revealed that there will be separate story line for a female Assassin Aveline. Oh irony!

I'm getting a bit side tracked here. And by the way, I am against the idea that the protagonist in AC III would be woman, because we can't forget that it's really Desmond all the time in the memories of his ancestors. While it would be very interesting to see how bleeding effect from a different gender would fuck Desmond up, this game is not a time or a place for such investigation.
Anyway! Sidetracks.

So, lots of support for Feminist frequency, Il Doctorine and the rest who have spoken about this issue. I appreciate the work you are doing that I and many, many others can continue enjoying games and maybe, in future, widen our gamer horizons to genres that haven't been really female friendly in the past.

Scotty liked all the books that I recommended / even if he didn't I wouldn't be offended.

Okay folks, we have another list coming today.
I was organizing my bookshelf today (don't laugh, it's something I do regularly) and it occurred to me that I would like to show off some of my most precious treasures. I am hopeless hoarder when it comes to books of any kind. I loathe to let any of them go, even that horrid paperback I dragged home only because it was free and I thought that I might read it someday but I never did. I care about how my books look like almost as much as I care about their content, so I have one book written in Chinese taking space in my shelf only because it's so damnably pretty. Neither of those has made it to this list. No, these are the best of the best. This list contains:
a) Books that are So Very, Very Pretty but also joy to read.
b) Books that don't look like much but are Rich and Fulfilling reading experiences.
c) Books that I come back to over and over again regardless their looks.

That being said and without further ado:

The top 10 books from my bookshelf

J.R.R Tolkien: The Hobbit or There and Back Again

I'm pretty sure I don't have to go very deep into the content of this book, since everyone and their mother has either read it themselves or heard it from their parents, teachers etc. I have been brought up with Tolkien, so this book is here for obvious reasons. While most people gobble up ice cream for comfort, I huddle in pillow fortress and read Tolkien. Especially Hobbit, since it is lighter and funnier than Lord of The Rings trilogy or The Children of Húrin (which is very obvious Kalevala rip-off and very tragic story.) It's also fun to spot things that'll get more refined and polished in the final LOTR books, to see where ideas and plot lines originated. And finally, even if this is for all means and purposes a children's book, it doesn't look down to it's audience. It has some pretty heavy stuff, from greediness to addiction, and it isn't wrapped in metaphors and baby talk. That is why to this day, Hobbit remains one of my very favourite books.

My copy is illustrated by lovely Tove Jansson, and her style fits Tolkien's world oh-so well.

Neil Gaiman & P.Graig Russel: The Sandman: The Dream Hunters

Yes, graphic novels (or less pompously, comics) have their rightful place in this list too. I have collected them for some years now, especially The Sandmans, and I could have just put all 8 of the copies I own here with no remorse. It is hell to choose a favourite out of that bunch, so I just took the one who stands on its own better than others. 

The Dream Hunters looks very much like a authentic folk story with some characters from The Sandman series, and for a longest time it was sold as one. The original short story, illustrated by Yoshitaka Amano was published 1999 with foreword by Gaiman who (out of modesty, I imagine) claimed that it was a real folk story he had rewritten. In remake, the one in my bookshelf, Gaiman apologizes to all the confused book-lovers and academics who had been looking for the original story all this time, and confesses that the whole story is from his pen. The point to the story is that The Dream Hunters really is THAT good. Both the original and the remake are also achingly beautifully drawn, obviously. 

Milan Kundera: The Unbearable Lightness of Being

I can never quite grasp what it is in Kundera that keeps me coming back for more. Whatever it is, it works. The Unbearable Lightness of Being is in its core a twisted love story between a neurotic woman with mother issues and pathological adulterer man. There is also artist who is unable to settle down and a mouse of a man who fucks his life up pretty brilliantly. In short, the type of story I normally try to keep at arms length. But in typical Kundera fashion, all the pathos has been wrapped in a delicious package with philosophy and some history, and even with all their problems and faults, the characters are likable and genuine. To me, the ideas presented in book make sense in a way very few things do. Einmal ist Keinmal has somehow, accidentally become the cornerstone of my own life views.  

No picture, but a quote:

“We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.” 

And that is what Einmal ist Keinmal really means.

Hal Duncan: Vellum - The Book of All Hours I & Ink - The Book of All Hours II

Hal Duncan's style is to avoid definition and genre. Some might say that his style is to avoid sanity all together. According to wikipedia, Vellum is something called The New Weird.  Reading The Book of All Hours is difficult, weird, exhilarating and inspiring. Things happen in multiple dimensions and times, you can never be quite sure in which corner of reality or sub-reality or post-reality or non-reality you are. Reading these books from cover to cover in hopes to get some closure and explanation is futile. And that is in nutshell what I love in Hal Duncan. You get the feeling that he doesn't really care about the reader or order or any of those things. But as long as you hang on on the ride somehow, both of these books are incredibly rewarding. The ideas, the possibilities! The Book of All Hours is something quite unlike anything else you have read before or anything you will read in future.

“We are our own worst enemies. How banal and trite that sounds, but [...] have come to believe that all the greatest truths are trite and banal, when spoken aloud in their simplest and most honest terms. Perhaps they can only be imparted in the Cant, in a language which writes itself onto your heart so that you understand not just the words but all the shattering ramifications of of a sentence which, when heard without true understanding, seems quite risibly simplistic.
We are our own worst enemies.People die.” 

Apostolos Doxiadis & Christos H. Papadimitriou - Logicomix

Logicomix is quite different from everything else I have included in this list. It is partly a lecture about history and basics of logic in the form of a comic, partly it's about process of making a comic about logic, and partly it tells about one logician in particular, Bertrand Russel and his story, fears and accomplishments. Even if mathematics are really not my division, I find it comforting that there is whole science dedicated to finding logic in all things. That there are people who are ready to spend years and over two hundred pages for proving that 1+1 is, indeed, 2. 

The aspect to this graphic novel I found particularly interesting is the fear Mr.Russel has for insanity. He sees many of his tutors and fellow logicians to go insane, bitter and mentally ill in their search of certain knowledge. I can also totally relate to his difficulties at his youth to find that one right academic pursuit, since I'm currently struggling with similar problems myself. 

Leonardo da Vinci - Työpäiväkirjat (collected and translated to Finnish by Laura Lahdensuu)

Työpäiväkirjat (= work diaries, or as Da Vinci himself called them, codex) is collection of found and translated notes by master himself. Notes are sometimes very rough, draft-like, and Laura Lahdensuu haven't left anything out, not even shopping lists or lists of seemingly random words and thoughts Da Vinci often scribbled in margins of his sketches. The notes are about various subjects: anatomy, perspective, geometry, etc. There are passionate arguments about why visual arts are at least as valuable, if not even more valuable, than poetry or music, general notations of natural phenomena like echo or shadows. Everything is written with almost childlike enthusiasm. It is highly amusing to find out how science has changed, how much more we know nowadays about simple things like how water behaves and moves.

Not to mention how amazingly well this book has been laid out. It has been huge effort, to take the remaining pages and put them in logical order. Studying Da Vinci's sketches never gets old. It is so well made that it won vuoden kauneimmat kirjat award (the most beautiful books of the year) in 2009

Donna Tartt - The Secret History

I'm one of the probably thousands gullible youths who read The Secret History and saw their lives changing in a matter of seconds. I wouldn't be the person I am without it, and I still come back to it yearly, when I need a reminder why I am pursuing the things I do in the first place. I still think it is beautifully written, I am still in love with the characters. I know I am very much in debt to The Secret History, for my overly romantic views of academic world, for my love of old, stuffy books and pompous scientists. 

The Secret History is also irreparably tangled with the messy things in my history - reading it is nowadays a painful stab of bittersweet nostalgia. It raises repressed memories and old aches I'd rather leave behind. But even with all that sentimental package, I love it to bits and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

“Could it be because it reminds us that we are alive, of our mortality, of our individual souls- which, after all, we are too afraid to surrender but yet make us feel more miserable than any other thing? But isn't it also pain that often makes us most aware of self? It is a terrible thing to learn as a child that one is a being separate from the world, that no one and no thing hurts along with one's burned tongues and skinned knees, that one's aches and pains are all one’s own. Even more terrible, as we grow old, to learn that no person, no matter how beloved, can ever truly understand us. Our own selves make us most unhappy, and that's why we're so anxious to lose them, don't you think?"

Art Spiegelman - Maus

Maus is one of the most resent additions to my collection. It is true story about authors father who went to Auschwitz and back, and survived. It is haunting, to know that all things told in the novel have really happened. The holocaust has never seemed to me this close, this personal. I appreciate that the author haven't tried to cover the faults of his father, trying to make him some sort of hero or worse, a victim. His choice to draw people as different animals (Jewish are mice, Polish pigs, French frogs...) is effective way to show otherness and isolation the war made between nations. Language has been left rough, there are very similar grammar mistakes than I do when writing in English, or than in the letters from my Polish penpals. It adds to intimacy of the story. 

Arthur Conan Doyle - The Hound of Baskervilles

Yet another book that made it to the list because of my childhood. We used to watch the Granada's Holmes series with my family every Saturday. I must have been about 9 or 10 and I had a ridiculous crush on Jeremy Brett. It is only natural that I moved on to the books as soon as I could read well enough. We had only a copy of 'Adventures of Sherlock Holmes' in our bookshelf, the collection that begins with 'A Scandal in Bohemia' and ends with 'The adventure of the Copper Beeches' which was, at the time, my favourite. For a longest time I thought that that was all there was to Sherlock Holmes and I was quite content. Then BBC's Sherlock happened, I was reminded of my previous devotion for the hook nosed detective. Sooner than one can say "Elementary, my Dear Watson" I caught up with the rest of the stories and bought few of them to fill my previously lacking collection. I could have chosen any of those books (I am rather fond of 'Study in Scarlet', where Dr. Watson and Mr. Holmes meet for the first time) but my copy of The Hound is too pretty to not to include in this list. 

You can't tell by the picture, but the cover is fabric. This is part of Penguin Classics series, which I warmly recommend for friends of pretty books.

Douglas Adams - Hitchhiker's series

Also known as the only five part trilogy on Earth, The Hitchhiker's is insanely funny scifi novel series (also a movie, radioshow and obscure PC game) After writing 4 hours about books I have loved and obsessed over (and doubt not, this is definitely in the latter category) I can't seem to say anything about this. Except maybe: Don't panic, bring your own towel and let the journey begin.

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

We want to lock you in our house / feed you with our spoon / we want to make you sing along

I've been bumping more and more into "how to care for your introvert" articles, pictures and comics, and they annoy the hell out of me. Let's take just one example.

In the next episode: How to Care for Hamsters

I am very introverted, and on the top of that, I'm the type of introvert who has no problem with isolating themselves from all and any social interaction. But I wouldn't, ever, expect someone to tiptoe around me just our of some misplaced respect for my "needs" as a introverted person. I don't need any of that stuff in the poster. I mean, what does some of them even mean? I know for a fact that if I start talking and no one interrupts me, I will talk till someones ears start bleeding. And then some more, just to get the point across. If I'm doing something wrong, I want to know about it now and not when you have the opportunity to speak to me in private. I don't get hurt very easily. Or embarrassed. But I do get confused if people act differently around me than they would around someone else.
Above everything else, I appreciate honesty in person. I don't see it as honesty if you change the way you behave around me just that you don't (and these are all quotes from care-for-your-introvert-guides) "scare me away" or "exhaust me with your company" We are all people here. I would hate it if people would treat me differently because I'm a girl, or an Atheist, or a person who likes colour grey. This also goes for me being introverted.
Also the thought that as a introvert I need someone to take care of me is total bullshit. If I need some time alone, I take some time alone. I am able to leave your presence if it exhausts me so much, you don't need to do this stuff for me. Chances are that you do it wrong anyway. By trying to respect introverts privacy and need to be alone from time to time you easily isolate them further and prevent them from forming a meaningful bond with you. Actually, the only thing I would put in these "care for your introvert" posters would be: Don't get offended. Yes, there are days when I rather stay at home reading a book than spend time with you. Get over it. I cancel and forget meetings all the time, not because I hate you, but because I can't be bothered. It's nothing personal (and it also makes me kind of an douche. Maybe you should get offended anyway.)

I can see where these guides come from, though. The dichotomy introvert/extrovert has been around from 70's, but the rising of the internet kind of gave introverts a channel to make contacts. At the same time, individualism made us all start to analyze ourselves, finding new ways to define the weird things we do and think. I think that these guides are just misplaced attempts to understand and cherish something that majority of population see different from themselves. And yet, we don't see any "how to care for homosexual" or "how to care for black person", because we can see outright that suggesting that those minorities need someone to take care for them is kind of racist. So, I appreciate the thought but just, don't. Please.

This was a triumph / I'm making a note here: huge success.

Because I'm bored beyond belief and had an sudden inspiration, here is my

Favourite video game characters of all time in no particular order.

GlaDos  from Portal and Portal 2

This really needs no explanation, right? She may have the very best lines in the history of video games, ever. Priceless gems like:

• "Well done. Here come the test results: "You are a horrible person." That's what it says: a horrible person. We weren't even testing for that!
• "He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility. [slow clap] Good, that's still working."

I don't think that I have ever laughed when playing a video game as much as I did when I played Portal 2. And I sort of really love how they redeemed GlaDos in the end. (Oh, wait. Spoiler alert, I guess?) I sort of really might have cried a bit when she said that Chel was her best friend and then played some syrupy Spanish turret opera for her. And I'm also very giddy of the fact that she is a she. As in ex-woman current science crazed robot. So, GlaDos, you will always have a very special place in my heart.

Still alive.

King of All Cosmos from Katamari

If you haven't ever heard of Katamari, you are obviously a moron. It is a game where things with tube shaped heads and cone shaped bodies roll around a ball, and everything big enough sticks to it. When ball gets bigger, you can pick up bigger things. (Like planets and giant squids and sumo wrestlers. You know. Ordinary stuff.) It is all very cheery and colourful.

Then add bipolar and megalomaniac king who somehow fucks the whole universe up and leaves the mess for cylinder head who is supposedly his son, The Prince and his seemingly endless flock of cousins while he sleeps for the whole duration of the Katamari Damacy and bitches about everything. 

Oh, and did I mention that he is totally fabulous?

Gorgeous and knows it.

Varric from Dragon Age II

Yes, yes, I know, DAII is complete shit compared to Origins and the plot was actually three separate little plots glued together (it was) story didn't have any major elements that would have gave it depth and meaning, like in DA: O (True), but I stand by my opinion that the followers were ten times better than in DA: Origins, except for Anders, that bitch. They are caricatures, definitely, but they make me feel like screen writers have really put effort into their backgrounds and attitudes. (Unlike scary slave-followers in Skyrim; most of whom have about three lines that they will contently say over and over again 'till I freak out and kill them. Is it really any wonder that I prefer raising zombies for my minions over hearing yet again "I am sworn to carry your burdens"?) I didn't like any of the Dragon Age: Origins characters half as much than I liked all the DAII followers. 

Why Varric then, and not Merril or Fenris or Aveline or whoever? Merril had that mirror business that she took way too seriously, Fenris just man angsted through whole game, (but I'm ready to forgive a lot for that voice. If that voice could be made into liquid and bottled, I would bath in it.) Aveline had too strict morals, Isabel needed to learn that sexual innuendos will get boring after a while... and they all have that one tick that makes them totally freak out and, I don't know, blow up buildings maybe (Oops spoilers. Anders you bitch.)

Except for Varric. Varric is just cool and unfazed through it all, he has some moral backbone but not too much, and he prefers using his wits instead of just butting his head against things he can't change until he has hell of a headache. (Anders I'm looking at you) He is my DA II bro for life.

Also, chest hair.

John Marston from Red Dead Redemption

If I could, I would make an ode titled: O, John Marston, the only male video game protagonist who isn't 30-something white brunette. Except he is brunette. And white. And male. And I'm not really sure about his age. Moving on! What I mean is that he really isn't from that same cookie cutter than virtually every other video game protagonist. He really seems like he has seen life, been to places, gotten tired of it all and settled down, and then been dragged back to everything he wanted to leave behind. He is being blackmailed and used by the very people who have been the villains of his whole former life, but he does their bidding anyway, with honor and poise. Because it is the right thing to do. 

Only thing I ever resented in John Marston was Jack Marston. 

You don't want to mess with him.

Shaun Hastings from Assassins Creed (all of them) 

I have very complex relationship with Assassins Creed as a game series. Because I know that they are not the best games I have ever played. They don't have best plots or best game play or best graphics. But they are the only game that will make me go batshit insane every time I get that new AC game to my hands, and the only game that I hate coming to an end so, so much. Every time I get to the end of one of them, I sit there, watching the credits mind reeling for the fact that even if I can play it again and complete the rest of the small side quests, it won't be the same again as the first time I got that game through. And I'm devastated. Until they announce the next game. 

So I had to include it in this list somehow. Luckily, we have the sassy history geek with an British accent. I have adored that guy from the first time he said to Desmond: "Hi, Desmond. Go away." He is one of those guys I look at and think to myself: one day, I want to be just like him. He has a passion for history. He doesn't put up with any bullshit. On the minus side, he is about the only character in the whole series worth mentioning (Except for Da Vinci, who is worth mentioning because he is Da Vinci. I adore him, too.) 

So, I will wait for AC III eagerly partly because I want to bother Shaun again for ten minutes in hopes he will say something new to me like he did in AC II if I remember right. I was very upset when I didn't get to do that in Revelations.

Hello. Go away.

+ 1: Character I absolutely hated so much that I couldn't be bothered to play through otherwise good game.

Cole Phelps from L.A Noire

Cole Phelps is a textbook example of what happens when what I think I am clash with the character I'm supposed to play as. I liked the concept and execution of L.A Noire, I liked the period of time it was set in, hell, I even loved the soundtrack to bits. But. None of that helped, because I cringed every single time the character that was supposed to be me opened his mouth. He was stuck-up and tense (and figured out the crimes much slower than I did.) When I wanted to accuse the suspect of lying, he shouted at suspects face and behaved violently. That was so opposite of what my own behaviour would have been in a similar situation, that it made me feel slightly ill. He is good character, and I wouldn't have minded him if he wasn't the protagonist, but as it were, the character made it really difficult to get into the game. 

And the problem could have been resolved, if they would have given player a bit more free reins and an option be a bit less goody-two-shoes. You can't even properly run over people with car in this game for fucks sake!

Killjoy since '47

Hear the shimmy and the shake / From a futile war

Today, at work I found three post-it notes stuck to our ideas-list. I have no idea who wrote them. Anyway, here's what was in them, with typos and all:

"Maailmanloppu ei ala 2012 vaan III maailmansota terrorismin/koneita vastaan. Pohjoiskorea (:neokorealaisten) mukana on Kiina, Venäjä (:neuvostoliitto), Iraq, Iran, Afkanistan, Somalia, osa Amerikaa mistä sissit ja Kuuba tulee. Neo CCCP Copra. Varautakaa siihen jos aijotte selvitä siitä tulevastta taistelussa. 

 Translation: The end of the world doesn't begin 2012, but the World War III, against terrorism/machines.  With North Korea (:Neo Koreans) are China, Russia (Soviet Union), Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Somalia, the part of America where partisans and Cuba come from. Neo CCCP Copra. Be prepared for that if you want to survive the battle that will come.


I now have newly found respect for my co-workers. I'm also dying to know who wrote this.

Don’t believe everything that you breathe

Ok, so sometimes I think stuff. Sometimes me thinking stuff results in wild theories crazy enough to rival Scientologists. This one theory I have is titled fancily:

The Gaia / Pandora theory

As every human being not living in a barrel, I have seen the movie Avatar, which has some pretty interesting ideas when you ignore the plot, the characters and the neon CGI-animals. Mainly, the nerve system that connects all living beings at the planet Pandora to the very core of the planet so that everything lives in perfect harmony and love and all that hippie stuff the humans in the movie want to destroy so badly. 

So I started thinking, where it came from? (And no I don't care if James Cameron has some theory of his own that can be found from some special-edition blueray's extra materials. I like my theory just fine.) 

The other product of pop culture I have abused in this theory is DCs graphic novel Swamp Thing. For those who have not read it, the swamp thing came into being in a lab explosion, where scientist Alex dies. Alex's body is thrown into the swamp with the super plant fertilizer, which somehow makes plants to digest Alex's body and form a creature, who believes that he is Alex. But he is not. He is mass of intelligent plant mass with cauliflower brain, and emotions, and this is the important part, the memory of everything Alex had ever experienced or learned.     

Lets throw in the final component of my theory, that is, the entropy principle. According to the principle, the amount of chaos in universe is always a) greater than amount of order b)always increasing. Fire is good, tangible example of this. Fire renders simple wood into ash, heat and light. The reason we see time passing as we do is because of entropy: bodies decomposing, turning into earth. Wine glass shatters into pieces when it hits hard surface. It never goes other way round.

See?

The reason the entropy principle has to be taken into this mess, well. Lets suppose that at some distant point in future our planet achieves the perfect state of chaos. In order for my theory to work, this would have mean that every organic being in earth would have lived, died and been decomposed into dirt. Of course my theory only works if all beings do die, leaving no offspring and I'm not sure why that would happen. Gross crossbreeding leading to creatures unsuited for life maybe?

So now we have that planet in a perfect state of chaos, covered in dirt that contains every organic being that has ever lived. Do you see what I'm trying to suggest here? Okay, now add the sentiment plant creature

that build itself from organic waste and nerve system of a dead man. What I'm saying is, that that dirt would somehow start to grow nerves, feeding from experiences and memories of every thing that has ever been alive. And so we would have super intelligent planet-encompassing nerve system that probably would start to spawn it's own (blue) life. Neat.

It's probably worth mentioning though, that I don't actually believe in any of this stuff. As I said in a beginning, sometimes my brain takes me to strange places and I'm first to admit the flaws of my theory.

If it’s out of key well nobody’s perfect.

I have a hiccup and it's annoying as hell.
Anyway, what I really wanted to say is congratulations for all those non-failing students who graduated today. Honestly, I have no idea how you did it and it must be cool to be able to finish something on planned schedule. Must be very gratifying and all. I haven't ever managed it, though.

I went to two graduation parties, and managed to give a spontaneous lecture on growth of human brain and evolution, rhetoric, schooling system, absolutism and brief history of philosophy to unsuspecting guy over twice my age who half of the time had no idea what I was talking about. I'd call it a success. It also tells a sad tale about my social skills.

There is a point to this story, that is, how utterly and absolutely happy I am that I am not graduating right now. I have no clue what I am going to do after Upper Secondary. Sure I have plenty of options, good enough brain and motivation to apply for University of Helsinki. Question is, which line? What do I want to study to unforeseeable future, spend hours and hours reading and arguing about, when everything is so damn interesting? My failing as a student ironically gives me a kind of head start to my future studies and gives me time to sort out what I actually want in life.

Until I figure it out, I have this website to keep me company:

WTFshouldIdowithmylife.com

Never trust a man in a blue trench coat.

Hey,
let's get this thing started. I am not new to blogosphere by any means, but with Dot I'm trying a few new things. Firstly: the language. English is not my first language and therefore anything written here will be a bit more unpolished than anything else I might publish. For some reason I am more comfortable when writing in English: I don't sensor myself as much as I do with my first language, Finnish. Any mistakes are either me being sloppy with keyboard or me being floppy with grammar which is still a stranger to me.

I am failing student, bad artist, lazy photographer, passionate anglophile/bibliophile/gamer/amateur philosopher/historian/geek, and I am very fond of science, books, graphic novels, art, technology and very dry humor. All these will be making appearances in the Dot. I might occasionally fangirl very unattractively about Sherlock, Neil Gaiman, The Avengers, Doctor Who, Stephen Fry, and games that will be published somewhere between very soon and too-fucking-late, like Assassins Creed III and Dishonored. My current gamer obsession is Skyrim, because I might have gotten it half a year later than anyone else. Sucks to be me.  

The face behind the text. Also, check out my goggles.